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Turn That Frown Upside Down…Or Else! – Bike Snob NYC

September 27, 2025
in Cycling
Reading Time: 14 mins read
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when a media embargo is lastly lifted and swiftly in every single place you look you see one more article about YET ANOTHER GODDAMN GRAVEL BIKE?!?

Behold, the Way forward for Gravel Bikes…the Mountain Bike!

Trek Bicycles has its finger on the heartbeat with regards to gravel traits, and with the launch of the new Trek CheckOUT, the model has given the world a contemporary, full-suspension gravel bike that has been in growth for years. The inspiration for this bike is to discover the potential of gravel bikes and pay homage to those that like to ‘underbike’ on singletrack. From that budding inspiration got here years of progress to develop a motorbike platform that few manufacturers have ever tried with success. However how did they crack the code?

Oh for chrissakes. “Crack the code?!?” Right here’s the code:

Make mountain bikes more and more difficult till they not even resemble bicycles

Consult with driving something that’s not this yr’s mountain bike on something that’s not a paved highway “underbiking”

Invent a brand new form of bicycle known as a “gravel bike” that’s actually only a mountain bike from just a few years in the past

“Proper dimension” your organization by 10% (right-sizing is the company equal of underbiking)

Revenue! (Or at the least keep in enterprise)

I imply why does the whole biking media associate with the concept that this bike is in some way a brand new factor? Ship them a banana with a media embargo on it, name it an apple, and these individuals wouldn’t miss a beat. “They cracked the code! These are the yellowest apples I’ve ever seen!”

Plus they’re simpler to hold in a jersey pocket (or gravel jersey nipple pocket), and due to proprietary TFPT (“Instrument-Free Peeling Expertise”) you not have to hold that unwieldy multitool in every single place!

Sure, these rectangular yellow “gravel apples” are going to be the brand new normal going ahead. It’s a revolution!

In the meantime, the opposite large bike information is the US ban on imports from Big:

Shockingly, it feels like large bicycle firm Big might not be coddling its workforce:

Big, the world’s largest bike producer, on Thursday warned of delays to shipments to the US after American customs officers introduced a shock ban on imports over unspecified pressured labor accusations.

US Customs and Border Safety (CBP) issued an order on Wednesday to detain Big bikes, their elements, and equipment manufactured in Taiwan following an investigation into the bike-making powerhouse that discovered indicators of pressured labor.

This has been significantly powerful on politically right cyclists who’re torn between protesting company meanies like Big and Specialised…

…and protesting the present administration. If solely the opposite candidate had gained and have been at present in workplace, the individuals who depart feedback on bike web sites could be delighted, however as an alternative they appear to have settled on the reason that that is simply one other ploy in the entire tariff negotiation factor…which does appear seemingly, although it’s additionally been within the air for awhile:

Apparently employees at Big are charged “month-to-month service charges” for which they don’t obtain any service, identical to the one in your mobile phone plan, and your cable plan, and your checking account, and…

But all Big interviewees, recruited between 2017 and 2024, stated that — moreover the up-front recruitment charges — they’re constantly charged a month-to-month service charge by Taiwanese labour brokers, although nobody felt they obtain any service in return. The charge equals two months’ base wage per three-year contract and is authorized in Taiwan. The charge is deducted by Big and proven on employees’ payslips…

Some interviewees complained about crowded and soiled dorms. Images shared with my staff present as much as 20 beds in slim rooms. Some advised us about punitive administration practices together with deportation, threats of deportation, and pay reductions for not obeying office or dorm guidelines. Others spoke of a factors system with zero factors would possibly lead to quick deportation.

However sure, that three-year contract sounds dangerous…virtually as dangerous as what occurs in America, the place for 4 years or extra younger adults (or, extra precisely, their dad and mom) pay an annual service charge of $60,000 and as much as dwell in soiled dorms awash in medication and obtain no wages in any respect, solely to obtain a ineffective diploma in “Gender and Sexuality Research:”

Objectively talking, it’s a far, much better financial proposition handy your youngster over to a Taiwanese labor dealer than to Bard School. Not solely do they nonetheless receives a commission one thing after all of the middlemen take their minimize, however they really study a ability:

And I’m prepared to guess Big manufacturing facility housing is extra sanitary than a shared condominium in Ridgewood.

However sure, it’s more and more troublesome to buy responsibly as of late. Certain, you may get an MBA in Sustainability so as to find out how, however that may price your dad and mom at the least one other $120,000 on prime of what they already paid on your Gender and Sexuality diploma. That’s why I feel the bicycle trade must undertake an moral manufacturing labeling system instantly. Solely essentially the most moral bicycles would get to put on the Blissful Face:

Comparable to these made right here in America by artisans who solely work once they really feel prefer it:

Whereas the worst bikes and merchandise could be required to show the Frowny Face of Disgrace in a extremely seen location:

This would come with Big bicycles, Specialised equipment from that manufacturing facility in El Salvador, and naturally something with a battery:

Good factor bicycles don’t want batteries, proper?

Proper…?

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