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Rigid In My Thinking – Bike Snob NYC

August 11, 2025
in Cycling
Reading Time: 14 mins read
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Additional to yesterday’s put up, I didn’t notice Mick Jagger’s bike had actually been on the market:

That’s essentially the most thrilling piece of cycling-themed superstar memorabilia since Rosie O’Donnell’s Budnitz:

O’Donnell after all has since fled america (actually one of the vital inhospitable locations on the planet to be a well-to-do superstar), and now lives in Eire, the place she is lastly free from each persecution and Budnitzes.

However you don’t actually know something about tyranny and oppression till you’ve lived beneath the iron fist of the UCI, and their subsequent draconian act may very well be a ban on 32-inch wheels:

I had no thought 32-inch wheels had even caught on within the first place, however apparently they’re sufficient of a risk to…non-giants, I assume?…{that a} ban could also be coming:

A number of trade sources have confirmed to Escape Collective that the UCI is actively contemplating a brand new mountain bike wheel measurement rule that will cap sizes on the present 29″ customary, successfully banning the rising 32″ format earlier than it will possibly take maintain in elite competitors.

In accordance with these accustomed to the matter, the proposal remains to be in an exploratory part, however indications are that it’s going to observe the identical sample as latest rule modifications on handlebar width, rim depth, and equipment ratios: a interval of quiet sounding-out, adopted by formal implementation. 

I for one have fun the upcoming ban, for 2 causes:

Racing isn’t actual life, sports activities have gazillions of guidelines, and in case you’re an athlete then obeying a bunch of arbitrary selections is what you signed up for, so take care of it. And everybody else is free to trip whichever goofy-ass bike they need anyway, so who cares?

I’m robotically in opposition to something that’s new and in relation to bike stuff I say ban it first and ask questions later:

In actual fact, the UCI ought to have banned the mountain bike again within the ’80s. If that they had the world would have been significantly better off. Positive, mountain bikes appeared innocent sufficient at first, even when the Euros acquired into the act:

However now have a look at them:

Buncha watermelon-humpers.

Look, clearly individuals could be humping watermelons with or with out the UCI (actually if it wasn’t for the UCI it could most likely be not possible to purchase a hardtail, although I’m undecided even the professionals race these anymore), however what the hell did they want mountain bikes for within the first place, anyway? There was already a type of offroad bicycle racing, and it was referred to as “cyclocross:”

Come on, have a look at that stunning image! We actually didn’t want mountain bikes in any respect, not to mention gravel bikes. It was all proper there! I imply what are we even doing right here, anyway?!?

Additionally, the perversion of the bicycle that’s the fashionable mountain bike is exclusive on the planet of sporting-type biking in that it’s a bicycle that actually doesn’t need to be a bicycle. Even a space-age highway bike doesn’t do something essentially otherwise than an previous highway bike:

The supplies have modified, the braking floor has moved nearer to the hub, and the derailleurs are remote-controlled, however it’s nonetheless only a diamond body and a pair of wheels. Whether or not you’re sporting a wool jersey on a metal bike or a PNS Mechanism on a plastic one you’re principally partaking in the identical exercise:

The mountain bike nonetheless went from one thing sturdy and easy to a telescoping, undulating, articulating Mars rover-type contraption that turns into out of date after like two years:

Like critically, these mountain bike individuals will warn you about driving bikes from 5 years in the past:

When you’re available in the market for a motorcycle that’s a lot older than 2020, it’ll typically have noticeably completely different geometry and dealing with in comparison with a brand new equal, and the additional again you go, the larger the hole can be.

Although they are going to charitably acknowledge that it’s attainable to trip a bicycle from waaay again in 2015:

Simply because a motorcycle has been round some time, that doesn’t imply it must be changed to expertise up-to-date dealing with. Take my different half’s 2015 Mondraker Cunning (above). With a 160 mm fork (up from the 140 mm inventory fork), a -2 diploma headset and the saddle slammed totally ahead on the seatpost, its key numbers (attain, head angle, wheelbase, efficient seat angle) aren’t far off what you’d discover new in 2024. Positive, it nonetheless has non-Enhance axles, a pair of 27.5″ wheels and abominable cable routing. However so far as dealing with goes, it’s strong. Throw in an upgraded shock, tires and brakes and it nonetheless very a lot does the enterprise.

In fact that article was from 2024, so who is aware of if any of it’s nonetheless true.

By the way in which, the identical website has a press launch on a brand new bike from Sklar:

Good of them to share a non-suspension bike manufactured from steel I assume, however the feedback from the indignant Watermelon Humperati broke what was left of my mind.

What can I say, I assume I’ve bizarre style in bikes:

Regardless of my three pleasing days on ol’ Pinky, returning to the sprightly but luxurious Roadini made me notice that taking that bike as an alternative of this one on trip with me could be loopy.

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