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It’s Scam-Tastic! – Bike Snob NYC

July 16, 2025
in Cycling
Reading Time: 15 mins read
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It’s scorching to journey on the highway with the solar beating down on you and it’s scorching to journey on the paths what with all of the bugs and the humidity and so I attempt to cut up the distinction and search shady lanes wherever doable:

This path is usually a bit crowded with perambulators on the weekends, however in the course of the week it’s principally simply me and the deer:

And the occasional deserted scooter:

Presumably the terrain overwhelmed its diminutive wheels, which is why the rider ought to have gotten a type of new gravel scooters:

Why does everybody today appear to be they’re exploring the floor of an alien planet?

In the meantime, right here’s one thing you already knew:

They are surely one of many absolute dumbest “upgrades” of the final 20 years, and that’s saying lots:

Summing up his arguments, Poertner criticises what he sees as an absence of margin for error with hookless rims, saying they’re not like “every other historic biking product” on this regard.

“In our lab, on extremely calibrated tools, we’ve seen tyres which are accredited to work with [hookless] rims blow off as little as 78psi… It’s simply such a security danger for no different profit.”

I feel the “lack of margin for error” was additionally an issue with press-fit backside brackets however these solely creaked, they didn’t explode in a tragi-comic sealant-soaked cash shot.

Furthermore, hookless rims are additionally simply the newest in a collection of scams, all of which serve to maintain the enormous Ponzi scheme that’s “carbon fiber.” See, in accordance with Jan Heine, you want hookless as a result of it’s simpler to make carbon rims that means:

Identical to you wanted disc brakes on highway bikes as a result of carbon rims suck as a braking service:

Severely, completely no one requested for disc brakes on highway bikes, least of all the professional racers.

But it surely’s all price it. See, we would have liked carbon rims as a result of…wait, why did we want carbon rims once more?

For that matter, why is no one’s gluing their tires to their wheels anymore?

The reply in fact is that they lastly got here up with one thing even dumber:

However lest you assume I’m just a few knee-jerk retrogrouchalist who mechanically rejects something new, I can guarantee you I’m tremendously excited concerning the new Pinarello gravel bikes:

The Pinarello gravel line-up consists of the DOGMA GR (that’s “GR” for “Grrr!” as a result of it’s FIERCE), and the Grevil F (which is a portmanteau of the phrases “Nice” and “evil” however with an “F” on the top as a result of a hidden Bluetooth speaker performs this everytime you journey it):

Pinarello simply introduced two up to date gravel strains: the all-new DOGMA GR and the up to date Grevil F collection. Each are for the gravel lifestyle, however with completely different intentions. The DOGMA GR is the model’s race bike, designed for max efficiency, much like a highway bike that accommodates 45mm tires. The opposite is the Grevil F, a extra “traditional” gravel bike, with the power to do greater than race (it has already confirmed that). The Grevil F can tackle multiday racing, carry your tenting gear, and right away, throw down on the entrance of the world’s quickest gravel races. 

I knew even earlier than studying the overview that I’d be shopping for at the very least certainly one of these bikes, and I’m fairly positive it’ll be the $14,000 DOGMAN GRRR, as a result of “you understand it means enterprise” AND it “goes the place you level it:”

From the second you see the DOGMA GR, you understand it means enterprise. The bike has a glance to it (and paint) that exudes type. The strains and the shapes are highly effective. It took one of the best elements (for gravel) from the Pinarello Crossista, the DOGMA F, and the DOGMA XC and boiled them right down to a quick gravel machine. I say “quick gravel” as a result of this bike seems like a highway bike. It’s responsive, light-weight, and goes the place you level it – however let’s not get too far forward. 

It’s an actual drawback that none of my present bicycles go the place you level them regardless of how arduous I attempt. Each night time I line them up neatly, solely to return within the morning to seek out all of them pointing inexplicably in the direction of magnetic north. That alone is a purpose to purchase the DOGMAGR.

After all, for $14,000 you wouldn’t need to be comfy over lengthy distances:

The DOGMA GR isn’t a consolation gravel bike. It’s designed to maneuver rapidly and switch your efforts into ahead momentum. That mentioned, the bike rides like a extra succesful cyclocross bike. It’s quick within the locations you need it to be fast, and it’s an asset on the pavement. Nevertheless, I couldn’t see spending a 200-mile day on this bike, and that’s a great factor, as a result of that’s not what it was designed for. 

The truth is, in case you ever purchase a $14,000 bike and discover you’re capable of journey it for 200 miles, you may be positive you have been completely ripped off, as a result of that’s not what $14,000 bikes are designed to do.

In the meantime, the Grevil F “didn’t have the identical ‘pop’” because the DOGMAGA, however it did really feel extra comfy:

On the highway and climbs, I might inform it didn’t have the identical “pop” because the DOGMA GR. The DOGMA GR seems like a highway bike, in one of the best sense of the phrase. The Grevil F felt extra like a gravel bike that I’m used to, responsive however not as stiff as a highway machine. 

So mainly it had wider tires on it.

Fuck it, I’m shopping for a gravel scooter.

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