Right here in The US of America, USA, we discover the remainder of the world’s conduct deeply complicated. Whether or not it’s consuming meals that isn’t Cheetos, ingesting espresso that isn’t Starbucks, or just talking a language that isn’t English, all of it strikes us as fully weird. However there’s nothing that confounds us greater than the Dutch propensity for using bicycles to get locations, and their steadfast refusal to put on helmets whereas doing so:
Nevertheless, within the wake of some [dripping blood letters] SCARY STATISTICS [/dripping blood letters], plainly even the Dutch themselves are actually pushing for helmets:
That is very a lot within the American custom of not addressing the true drawback in the case of drivers hitting folks, which is…properly, drivers hitting folks, as some Dutchies are declaring:
Although strive telling that to the sufferer of a “basic Dutch accident,” who now wears a helmet:
So what occurred? Nicely, he acquired drunk and he crashed his bike:
This actually sums all of it up completely. Was it’s failure to put on a helmet that brought on the crash? Or was it, , THE FACT THAT HE WAS DRUNK? However in the long run it doesn’t matter. Whether or not it’s reigning in our careless driving or reigning in our extreme ingesting, none of us wish to do the tough factor that may really make a distinction. As an alternative, we favor to do the straightforward factor, which is to proceed behaving as stupidly as at all times whereas carrying fortunate foam hats as if that alone will make any detrimental penalties go away. It additionally has the advantage of mollifying your 8-year-old son, who lacks the sophistication to ask you why you drink a lot. (Or possibly he’s realized the laborious approach to keep away from the topic.)
By the best way, we’ve recognized that there’s a relationship between ingesting and bicycle deaths for fairly a while:
And but we maintain drawing the identical conclusion:
Why? As a result of it’s simple, that’s why.
However may there be one thing else at work within the Netherlands moreover folks using after too many Heinekens? , possibly one thing that begins with the letter “E?”
Sure, go away it to e-bikes to destroy the one place on Earth we may as soon as level to after we needed to show that bicycles as a mode of transportation really work:
Apparently it’s gotten so dangerous over there the police need to examine e-bikes on dynamos:
Look, I’m not saying e-bikes are answerable for all of the ills of society, I’m simply saying it’s getting actually, actually laborious to not consider that e-bikes are answerable for all of the ills of society.
Nonetheless, whether or not it’s e-bikes or common bikes, it’s necessary to do not forget that it’s the people who find themselves most necessary:
It sounds good, however sadly that is fully unfaithful. As a friendless member of the Individuals Who Journey Alone Membership*, my bikes are actually all I’ve. Belief me, I don’t want folks and relationships to take pleasure in using my bikes. However what I do want? My bikes! The persons are incidental. In reality, have you learnt what they name a bunch of mates with out bikes who take pleasure in using collectively? They name them runners:
*[Yes, I realize the idea of a club made up entirely of people who ride alone makes no sense, but don’t overthink it.]
Possibly it was simply such a big group of bikeless mates who stole a whole semi truck filled with bikes:
I’d by no means even heard of Ari Bikes earlier than, but it surely seems like they make just about each type of bike you may probably consider:
I completely learn “Timp Peak” as “Pimp Steak.”
