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I Brake For Crappy Bikes – Bike Snob NYC

November 25, 2025
in Cycling
Reading Time: 9 mins read
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So there I used to be this previous Friday, about 10 miles from residence and driving by way of the suburbs at a gradual clip, after I caught a glimpse of one thing in my periparel periferal aspect imaginative and prescient and made an abrupt u-turn, inflicting a multi-vehicle pile-up within the course of. OK, I’m mendacity in regards to the pile-up, however I did make a u-turn. As a result of what I noticed was an indication bearing the next phrases:

FREE BIKE

And the bike to which it was hooked up was this one:

As I dismounted my A. Hamish Hildegaard, I instantly seen the crabon tubes and the Shimano 600 elements, and regardless of the bike’s diminutive dimension my first thought was, “How do I get it residence?” Public transportation appeared like extra of a problem than the bike was price (to me, anyway). However I used to be near the South County Trailway, which is flat and straight and takes me all the way in which residence, so I figured I’d simply attempt to wheel the bike alongside me, like this:

The Web appears to name this “ghostriding,” however after I was a child the act of ghostriding was if you’d get your bike rolling actually quick then leap off it and watch it trip away by itself till it hit the curb and flip over or one thing.

Why we did this I don’t know, although it left my battering ram of a Schwinn Scrambler none the more severe for put on.

Deploying the kickstand of of my very own bike with a deft flick of the toe, I leaned the Hilderstein upon mentioned kickstand, sauntered over to the FREE BIKE, and made a fast inspection. Nevertheless, I discovered that there was an excessive amount of friction within the rusty hubs for my plan to be possible. So I figured it was greatest to only depart or not it’s and proceed with my trip, and I quickly forgot all about it.

However the subsequent day I discovered myself driving by the identical spot, and certain sufficient the bike was nonetheless there. Now it was raining, and a few of these elements had been fairly first rate, so it appeared like a disgrace let it simply sit there getting even rustier. I made a decision to come back again later with THE CAR THAT I OWN, although because the day went on that proved to be impractical, so I let it go and forgot about it as soon as once more.

Then yesterday morning as I rode I remembered the bike once more and I believed to myself, “That’s it. If it’s nonetheless there I’m positively coming again for it.” Thankfully, it was gone. As a result of the very last thing I want is a too-small Univega.

However that is the way it works if you’re a terminal bike dork. “That tiny Univega has a reasonably first rate headset, perhaps I’ll construct an entire new bike round it!” Then when the bike’s not there, as a substitute of transferring on, you begin taking a look at previous carbon and aluminum bikes on eBay:

I’ve a pair of 9-speed Dura-Ace shifters that will be excellent for that!

Significantly although, what the hell’s the matter with me? Why am I even stopping for rusty previous plastic Univegas whereas I’m driving this?

And sure, these are TOE CLIPS on there. What can I say? As I discussed, the Homer feels surprisingly quick, and so I felt like attempting it with some foot retention, however placing clipless pedals on it offended my sensibilities (one thing about clipless pedals and a kickstand on the identical bike simply weirds me out), and so I used toe clips as a substitute, regardless that they’re silly.

And but I’ve no drawback utilizing clipless pedals and an unsightly outboard bearing crank on the Roadini, go determine:

Yeah, that’s proper, I’ve a Homer and a Roadini and I rode the each this weekend and but I nonetheless considered taking that Univega.

It’s like a illness.

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