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We’ve Been Down This Gravel Road Before… – Bike Snob NYC

September 30, 2025
in Cycling
Reading Time: 18 mins read
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Additional to this previous Friday’s put up, with all that’s happening on this planet at the moment, I really feel it’s of the impmost utportance that I proceed to handle the Examine TrekOUT fullularly-suspendered graveling cycle:

[The Shrek SchleckOUT]

As I stated not too way back, although I’m too lazy to search out the place, and anyway it doesn’t matter since this weblog is simply me repeating myself, I in fact acknowledge that each one these new bikes I’m continually whining about are most likely nice. Little question that is the case with the Flek SmeckOUT, which comes from an organization that’s been making bikes for a lot of, a few years. There’s not a doubt in my thoughts that it Does What It’s Supposed To Do, and with aplomb–perhaps even a number of plombs!

Certain, aesthetically talking it’s an train in strained company irreverence, and clearly there was a mandate to make it seem like the singer from Ratt’s pants…

Or a prop from “Pee-wee’s Playouse”…

Nonetheless, I’m totally prepared to simply accept that it’s an satisfying bike to experience, and I’m positive if I had been to attempt one myself I’d admire its many virtues. I’d additionally by no means look askance at somebody who bought one…supplied they may simply half with the $8,999.99, in fact–and I received’t even specific indignation on the value, since no person is making anyone spend $8,999.99 on a gravel bicycle, and that features Trek, who’ve tons different, cheaper, bikes too.

And but I stay troubled–not by the bike itself, however by what it represents. Contemplate the conclusion of the Desert Hipster Web site’s evaluation, which I skipped to, as a result of who the hell may learn one thing that lengthy in its entirety?

Perhaps that’s the way forward for the CheckOUT. The few weirdos who’ve been ready for this can purchase one, and the full-suspension gravel market might be instantly saturated. For a quick second, the remainder of the gravel and touring crowd will lookup from the newest information about tire-clearance or brake-hood angle, and can then settle again into their sport’s comfortably gradual evolution.

However I fucking hope not.

There might be extra full-suspension gravel bikes… And when sufficient of these different bikes come, the novelty will fade. They received’t simply be for the weirdos or the bikepackers or the extremely racers or the underbikers. They’ll be for individuals who need to be extra comfy. Extra environment friendly. Extra protected. You’ll begin to see aluminum ones with extra inexpensive elements. Economic system of scale will enable for decrease costs and extra gamers.

It might take some time, however issues will change. Contemplate how completely different mountain biking was earlier than full suspension turned the default for thus many riders. The very idea of driving drop-bar bikes off-road will change. The races will change. The imagery will change. The language will change. The tales will change. The individuals will change. I can’t wait to see what occurs.

Pricey god, that’s ominous. Why do all of the gravel bikes must have suspension now? Why do we want limitless iterations of this factor at each single “value level?” (Bike reviewers are all the time saying they hope an aluminum model comes out. After all they’d by no means experience it, they only assume it’s best to.) And what’s up with that bit on the very finish? Why does he need “the individuals” to alter!?! What was flawed with the individuals???

Additionally…protected!?!

Don’t discuss to me about protected! Right here is the suspension set’s concept of security:

[Mountain dork awaiting the paintball barrage for the Jackass stunt.]

However here’s what a protected gravel all-terrain bicycle seems to be like:

[Photo: Dan Leto]

Metal, a step-through body to spare your “pants yabbies,” and a wheelbase so lengthy that when you stroll from the entrance wheel to the again that you must set your watch again an hour.

And even Trek hold saying their very own bike is dumb:

So many options to isolate you from the gravel. (Why is the entire level of driving on gravel to not know you’re driving on gravel?) So many locations to mount stuff. So many equipment you will get solely from Trek:

Trek actually considered every little thing! However isn’t that…kinda lame? It’s like that child whose dad and mom purchased him completely every little thing however you weren’t even jealous, you largely simply felt sorry for him as a result of he was sort of awkward, most likely as a result of his dad and mom made him put on knee and elbow pads simply to experience a skateboard. Like, the 178 mounting factors aren’t even sufficient they usually additionally wanted so as to add sliding brackets for some cause?

Who designed this, Travis Bickle?

However most of all, what’s troubling about this bike is that everybody will rave about it for per week, then they’ll be on to the subsequent factor, after which in two years it is going to be forgotten–or if not forgotten then redesigned, simply as yesterday’s top-of-the-line mountain bike is at the moment’s “Wow, how did we even experience these?” curiosity, thought of match for nostalgia functions solely. The reviewers, the bike firms, none of them have any actual dedication to the bikes or to you, particularly as soon as suspension is concerned. Contemplate:

You may virtually hear it crying from right here. “Do you bear in mind me, Dad? Do you!?! Bear in mind after I was on the duvet of ‘Bicycling’ in 1998?”

However Dad doesn’t bear in mind–or not less than he’d like everybody else to overlook. And inside two years the Y-Foil was definitely forgotten, and at the moment it’s a curiosity and a joke, appreciated solely by washed-up contrarian bloggers. See, the Y-Foil possesses the three attributes the true contrarian bicycle owner finds irresistible:

It’s previous

It’s discontinued

Everyone else hates it

However it’s not unhealthy. In truth it’s fairly good! It’s quick, and it’s comfy. You may even take it on gravel…although it helps if that gravel is smoother than most paved roads:

And bear in mind, simply because the dual-suspension bike is meant to be the way forward for gravel bikes, beam bikes had been imagined to be the way forward for highway bikes:

[From here.]

Granted, designers uncared for to handle sure questions, corresponding to “How do you dismount it with out crushing your taint?” However maybe it’s all within the method. Perhaps you unclip, sit on the beam, and slide all the way down to the headtube the place you’ll be able to lastly straddle the factor.

However sure, little doubt in 1998 some reviewer someplace professed a fervent hope that this may be the way forward for highway bikes, and the diamond body would lastly be deserted:

I suppose what I’m saying is I’ll be driving a Trek CheckOUT in 30 years.

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