Hey! Look! Extra thrilling information on the planet of bikes oh expensive god make it cease please simply shoot me now:
No have to tease the bike, Salsa. I’ll simply tease it myself by singing, “Nyah nyah nyah-nyah-nyah, you’re ugly and also you’re a mountain bike!”
By the define, there are some things we all know for certain: it’s a full suspension bike, and it has dropbars and a dropper put up. The tires seem like of MTB dimension, however with how massive gravel tires are getting today, it may simply fall into the aggressive gravel or ATB class. Understanding Salsa, there’s a superb likelihood this bike will work nicely for bikepacking and journey driving – what seems to be body bag mounts contained in the entrance triangle, and beneath the highest tube appear to help that concept. Replace: We now know primarily based on the touchdown web page for the brand new bike on Salsa’s web site, that that is certainly a full suspension gravel bike!
I imply actually, it’s sufficient already. If it walks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then THIS IS JUST ANOTHER GODDAMN MOUNTAIN BIKE.
Nonetheless, I visited the touchdown web page after which threw my pc throughout the toilet (sure, I used to be on the bathroom, so what?) :
I don’t know what it’s, I don’t care what it’s, and Salsa’s declare that they “outlined the trendy day gravel bike” could or might not be true, however whether it is then they need to be ashamed of themselves. It looks as if solely yesterday when Salsa (Surly’s extra civilized cousin) used to supply bikes like this…
And this…
And even this:
That final one is known as a “cyclocross bike,” and it’s what you rode on what they now name “gravel” whenever you weren’t certain in case your highway bike would reduce it.
However sure, there was a time you possibly can browse photographs from the North American Handmade Bike Present and never really feel that unhealthy about the way you’d by no means be capable to afford that customized metal bike since you may relaxation assured Salsa would produce an affordable knockoff shortly thereafer.
Now Salsa is simply this:
Look, I get it. I’m outdated and cranky. That is what the individuals need now. However why? Who the hell would wish to get up to this?
[“Ugh, how drunk was I last night?”]
As a result of it has disc brakes that howl like a forlorn dingo on the slightest trace of moisture? As a result of it may need marginally extra tire clearance than that elegant Casseroll? (Say “elegant Casseroll” 10 occasions quick.) What’s incorrect with humanity as a species that by 2010 the idea of the sporting bicycle was so dialed in that even a model owned by a motorcycle components distributor may crank out a very nice highway bike this good…
…however a mere 15 years later we tore all of it up and got here up with this as a substitute?
It’s simply unhappy.
Not that my very own bikes exhibit a lot in the best way of refinement, thoughts you:
Certainly, relying by yourself sensibilities, you could at the moment be experiencing the dry heaves. However what can I say? This bike is my very own private act of rise up–towards colours that match and total aesthetic cohesion, certain, but in addition towards suspension and disc brakes and “redefining what’s potential” and tire clearance for tire clearance’s sake and bloated, swollen bikes that seem like they’re having a extreme allergic response and must be jabbed with an EpiPen.
The world could also be passing me by, and that’s wonderful, however that’s not going to cease me from shaking my fist at it as I stand there in a cloud of mud.
