Look, everyone knows what’s occurring right here. Callaway needs to say “Tecmo Bowl” however, you realize, logos. So we get “Retro Soccer” as a substitute. And truthfully? I’m superb with it, as a result of Tecmo Bowl is pound for pound the best soccer online game ever made, and anybody who disagrees can ship me hate mail from their AOL account.
The Chrome Tour Retro Soccer assortment options 4 pixel-inspired designs that “seize the nostalgia of basic gridiron motion,” which is company communicate for “we made your golf balls appear to be they’re working on a Nintendo from 1989.”
With an MSRP of $60 a dozen (you would possibly get them cheaper), these are pricier than your commonplace Chrome Tour. Clearly not due to these licensing prices they’re clearly not paying. Should be the video game-themed packaging. Bins aren’t low cost, individuals.
The Lineup
Each dozen options all 4 distinct participant designs—three balls of every. Right here’s who you’re getting:
Linebacker

That is Lawrence Taylor with out saying it’s Lawrence Taylor. Some of the fierce, game-changing gamers to ever terrorize quarterbacks. The person redefined what it meant to play protection and shortened a number of careers within the course of. In case your golf ball might sack somebody, this could be the one to do it.
Working Again

It’s Bo Jackson, people. The best two-sport athlete of my era and, so far as “retro soccer” is anxious, probably the most overcooked, unstoppable power in sports activities online game historical past. Anybody who performed Tecmo Bowl is aware of the soiled secret: choosing the Raiders and working with Bo was principally a cheat code. He’d break seven tackles, outrun your complete protection, and rating from anyplace on the sphere. It was nearly comically unfair. Your little brother most likely cried about it. Mine did.
Quarterback

This is able to be John Elway, grasp of the fourth-quarter comeback and proprietor of maybe the strongest arm in NFL historical past. The person might throw a soccer by a automotive wash and it will come out dry on the opposite aspect. In Tecmo Bowl, his passes traveled so quick they bent the space-time continuum. Or no less than that’s the way it felt when he torched your protection.
Vast Receiver

Jerry Rice. Look, I by no means appreciated him when he was taking part in. I used to be a Cowboys fan earlier than Jerry Jones purchased the staff and ruined the whole lot. Dude sucks. Cowboys suck. What was I saying? Oh proper, Jerry Rice. The person caught the whole lot. EVERYTHING. He ran routes so exact that defensive backs are nonetheless dizzy. He’s the best receiver of all time, and it’s not significantly shut. Even in 8-bit type, he was unstoppable.
The Backside Line

Will pixelated soccer legends assist you break 80? In all probability not. However whenever you cranium one into the bushes, no less than you’ll be able to fake you’re working the flawed approach like that one man everybody remembers from Tecmo Bowl.
The Chrome Tour Retro Soccer assortment proves that Callaway understands its demographic: guys who peaked in 1991 and nonetheless argue about whether or not you possibly can beat Mike Tyson in Punch-Out with out utilizing any codes.
Callaway Chrome Tour Retro Soccer golf balls can be found now.
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