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Yanking Your Chain – Bike Snob NYC

July 24, 2025
in Cycling
Reading Time: 13 mins read
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Hey, do you know that there’s a motorbike race happening in France, and the riders are sporting area garments?

It’s true!

In the course of the Tour de France, athletes have to keep up a relentless velocity whereas bike using for dozens of miles by way of chilly rains and summer season warmth. These cyclists want gear that adapts to the totally different environments they encounter. One firm is utilizing a cloth with NASA origins to make sure these athletes keep comfy whereas taking their grand excursions.

“Dozens of miles,” actually?

I suppose it’s technically true each day, nevertheless it doesn’t actually sound very spectacular if you put it that means, now does it?

In any case, the corporate making their garments out of area fabric is Ekoï:

Who’re in fact the inventors of the well-known LäctoGräv jersey:

This jersey was initially developed for consuming in a zero-gravity setting, nevertheless it seems they forgot to take note of the entire rotating-the-bottle-to-get-the-air-out-of-the-way factor, making it ineffective for astronauts:

So that they had a gathering:

“Shit, we made a thousand of these items and NASA doesn’t need them now. Who the hell else is gonna use this silly factor?”

[Beat]

“Cyclists!”

[They high-five]

One has to surprise if this man was too busy consuming from his personal nipples when he hit a police motorbike within the bike lane:

The San Diego County Bike Coalition man makes a superb level about how they didn’t put out any flares and cones like they might have in the event that they have been towing a automobile within the motorcar lane, however I’m fairly assured Fred would have missed these too.

Sadly, issues are solely going to worsen earlier than they get higher, as a result of the drive to reinvent how cyclists drink water is just not going to finish anytime quickly:

And right here’s an incomplete listing of bicycle elements you now have to recollect to cost:

Shifters and Derailleurs

[What they’ve done to 105 makes me sad.]

Seatposts

[I don’t even know if that one’s electronic or not but let’s just pretend that it is.]

Handlebars

Hubs:

Valve Stems

It’s solely $130!

(That’s every, I’m assuming.)

Pedals

Cranks

However hey, at the least you don’t need to cost your chain but. In truth, now you can use your chain to cost all the pieces else:

If it additionally cleans your chain possibly they’re onto one thing.

They only have to make it a bit of extra phallic to compete with the trade commonplace:

Nonetheless essentially the most suggestive bicycle accent ever made–and also you don’t even have to cost it!

Like this:

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Tags: BikeChainNYCSnobYanking
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