Completely happy Independence Day Gross sales Occasion Weekend, everyone!
I’ll quickly depart you to pedal off into a blinding pyrotechnic show of each freedom and financial savings, however earlier than I do I’m happy to announce that I’ve determined to purchase a bicycle firm:
I imply why the hell not, proper?
Since 2008, Alchemy has been producing premium, distinctive, and lust-worthy mountain, street, and gravel bikes. With present fashions, together with the versatile Arktos path bike platform and the Lycos gravel bike, and older fashions just like the Ronin gravel and Helios street bike, the model has been crafting stunning frames in each carbon and titanium for years.
Pending acceptance of my $1,500 provide, I’ve already reviewed their lineup, and I’ll be axing this bike:
And this bike:
For that matter, I’ll be axing all their bikes, since there are a few gazillion corporations additionally providing practically an identical iterations of all the pieces they promote As a substitute, I’ll provide one mannequin and one mannequin solely, that being a standard metal street bike. Are you aware it’s practically inconceivable to get a standard metal street bike with rim brakes these days? (Effectively, a brand new one, anyway.) For instance, Surly used to supply the Pacer:
Are you aware what they provide now? This:
Look, me. You realize I’m not fussy in relation to aesthetics. You realize I’m form of a dirtbag who doesn’t clear his bikes and tolerates all types of mismatched components. However candy fancy Moishe that headtube/fork combo is a criminal offense in opposition to humanity:
Like significantly, no one ought to be allowed to promote one thing that ugly.
Then once more I most likely don’t even have to trouble with the traditional metal street bike as a result of the one you continue to can purchase doesn’t actually depart any room for enchancment:
Although a chicken did handle to defile its beautiful lugwork:
I don’t know the way it managed to hit the seat lug of all locations, however I’m going to go forward and take into account it an indication of excellent luck.
Have a fantastic vacation weekend, journey protected, and should your personal good omens manifest themselves in a extra sanitary trend.
–Tan Tenovo
