Rage Against The Meh-chine – Bike Snob NYC

Anyway, earlier than there was SAFA Brian, earlier than there was Terry B, or earlier than there have been even SICK FIXIE EDITS like this one…

…there was Lucas Brunelle, driving round and searching for bother with a pair of cameras strapped to his head:

I imply I believe there was, anyway. Frankly I’m a bit hazy on the chronology. But it surely sounds good so I’m sticking with it.

In 2011, Lucas Brunelle defined that each seat he has is “as sharp as a razor:”

Do you journey like that even if you’re selecting up groceries?

Sure. Each seat I’ve is as sharp as a razor, so that you all the time play to roll.

To today, I’ve completely no thought what which means, nor has anyone else provided up a passable rationalization.

Then, like many getting old folks from the Northeast, he turned a snowbird and began spending half the yr in Florida, the place he’d have actually contrived confrontations with the police proper down the road from the place my grandmother used to reside, which was simply bizarre:

Although often he’d return to fabricate more and more weird and pointlessly harmful conditions for himself:

Anyway, it not too long ago occurred to me that I hadn’t heard something about Lucas Brunelle in fairly awhile, so I checked his YouTube channel and found that he’s “altering [his] YouTube technique” within the wake of diminishing viewership:

The implication appears to be that he’s in some way run afoul of the YouTube algorithm, and that he should now “tone it down” to as soon as once more attain a wider viewership. Nevertheless, a fast scroll of his latest movies suggests this isn’t the case, and that his viewership truly will increase the extra irresponsibly he behaves. For instance, this video by which he runs a cease signal, rides proper into oncoming visitors, then defends himself by saying he was “within the dust” has exponentially extra views than his different movies:

By the best way, I’m unsure what the dust has to do with something. I assume the implication is that he couldn’t maneuver on it. Possibly he ought to get a gravel bike…or Simply Purchase A Rivendell Already. (Sadly Rivendell don’t promote razor sharp seats.)

He additionally will get plenty of views on this video, by which he as soon as once more has a contrived interplay with the police proper down the road from the place my grandmother used to reside:

Hey, all of us hate getting stopped by the cops, however if you run a lightweight in full view of them you actually don’t have any alternative however to take your lumps. But Brunelle–the person who deliberately rides on skinny ice–condescendingly Fred-splains to the officer that they should run the sunshine for his or her security, and that he’s been doing this “quite a bit longer than you’ve,” no matter which means. Oddly, the one factor the Jobst Brandt of Outlaw Biking Videography doesn’t do is take the actually badass choice, which might have been to journey away and drive the cops to provide chase, which might have instantly catapulted his numbers into SAFA Brian territory.

All of this will likely make it look like I’ve nothing however contempt for Brunelle, but it surely’s precisely the alternative: I too have grown outdated and irrelevant through the years, so I understand how he’s feeling. However I need him to know that it’s okay, and that there’s nothing flawed with sitting up and letting youthful and dumber idiots take all of the laborious pulls up entrance. There’s a way in our tradition that it’s higher to burn out than fade away, and that we must always all rage in opposition to the dying of the sunshine, however I’m of the opinion that when night time begins to fall one ought to go gently into it. There’s a time to hold up the crabon, and to wriggle out of the skinsuit, and to cease arguing with authority figures who’re one-third your age. Or, to place it extra succinctly…Simply Purchase A Rivendell Already.

You’ll be glad you probably did.