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Stay In Your Lane – Bike Snob NYC

May 30, 2025
in Cycling
Reading Time: 12 mins read
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Additional to yesterday’s publish, don’t do that at residence:

Not as a result of it’s harmful, however as a result of it’s so downright tame the boredom may put you to sleep and and also you would possibly fall off your bike. I solely hope the irate mountain bikers from the opposite day don’t come up with that, as a result of I’ll by no means stay it down. Most definitely they’d give me crap for using like a “woosie” and for not sporting a helmet, which is ironic, as a result of while you journey like a woosie you don’t really want a helmet. (Mid-ride naps however, in fact.)

Hey, I’m no watermelon fucker:

Nor am I a freeway scooterist:

I want I’d been in a position to take a greater photograph however, you understand, I used to be driving and I shouldn’t have been utilizing the cellphone in any respect. Nonetheless, it’s too dangerous the “Welcome to the Bronx” signal isn’t clearer, since that is just about probably the most Bronx factor possible. I can’t inform if he’s white-knuckling it and considering to himself, “Oh shit, I’m on the freeway!,” or if he’s simply calmly cruising and savoring the lengthy line of visitors behind him. Currently I’ve additionally been seeing supply individuals on e-bikes and comparable conveyances on this stretch of street so I’m wondering in the event that they’re merely being led astray by GPS.

Sarcastically there’s a serene and picturesque bike path immediately adjoining to this freeway that can take you from the Bronx just about all the way in which to Canada, however to be honest you’re more and more more likely to encounter mysterious pants:

So perhaps he figured it was definitely worth the danger.

Talking of e-bikes, a rider of 1 has run into a little bit woman in Brooklyn:

E-bikes? Supply individuals? Bike lanes? Injured kids? Jews??? That is the stuff of New York Metropolis tabloid writers’ moist goals!

I admit I too was grateful for one more excuse to malign e-bikes and excoriate their riders, although having watched the precise video I have to say I’m not all that impressed:

Insane! One other little one was knocked off this afternoon on the damaging Bedford Ave bike lane, which continues placing bike riders and pedestrian lives in danger. pic.twitter.com/wACdioLBT9

— Williamsburg 365 Information (@Williamsburg365) Could 26, 2025

Is the e-bike too quick for the bike lane? Positive. Ought to the rider have been extra ready to cease? Definitely. Is the so-called “parking-protected” bike lane configuration New York favors arguably as idiotic as it’s Frogger-esque? Completely. Have I requested sufficient rhetorical questions? Not but. May you’ve gotten designed a motorbike lane to extra successfully insure that riders won’t be able to see young children till it’s too late? In all probability not:

On the identical time, fortunately the kid appears solely to have sustained minor accidents, and extremely the rider remained on the scene. And to not “However drivers!” the state of affairs, nevertheless it’s not even in the identical universe as this horrific story:

Actually, it’s simply unthinkably terrible:

“I don’t wish to put my breath on one thing that’s going to comprise my DNA,” she allegedly advised a detective shortly after 3:30 p.m. that day. “No, I’m good. Need to odor my breath? There’s no alcohol on my breath. You wish to take a breathalyzer? Positive, go for it. I’m simply saying I don’t like my DNA on issues.”

The crash killed mother Natasha Saada and her two daughters — Diana, 8, and Debra, 5 — whereas leaving her 4-year-old son, Philip, critically injured.

Which is why it’s now an “explosive marketing campaign challenge:”

No, wait, that’s the bike lane factor:

Lastly, in far much less miserable information, a 92-year previous rider will tackle UNBOUND, the world’s premier gravel occasion, introduced by @shimanogravel, a completely owned subsidiary of Life Time Athletic Occasions, all rights reserved, and so on. and so forth:

He attributes his fortitude to his years spent as a land surveyor in Texas:

Schmid’s toughness wasn’t born on a motorbike. He spent 5 a long time as a land surveyor within the Texas warmth, swinging a bush axe by way of poison ivy and mosquitoes. The work was brutal, however quitting wasn’t an choice. “You simply saved going,” he says. “Everybody else was on the market doing the identical.” That work ethic nonetheless drives him right now.

Let’s hope he doesn’t run up towards any constructing contractors:

Anyway, I hope you’ll all be part of me in wishing the most effective of luck to Fred, who is maybe probably the most excessive instance I’ve ever seen of somebody who not solely REFUSES to Simply Purchase A Rivendell Already, but additionally seems like he would possibly shoot you for merely suggesting it.

Honest sufficient.

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