I’m all at no cost enterprise, and I’m leery of making any extra authorities businesses, however we might have to enact some new laws and empower some type of heavily-armed physique to maintain the bike trade and the tech trade as far aside as attainable, as a result of this could’t be good:
First we should always lastly go the FRICTION [Federal Restriction on Integrating Cycling and Technology In Our Nation] Act, then we should empower brokers from the Bureau of Wheels, Tires and Frames [WTF] to maintain tech firms away from biking firms by any means needed. See, we should finish this predatory habits earlier than they begin “integrating agentic AI into bikes:”
Sure, it’s all the time about making biking extra “accessible,” isn’t it? See, the true drawback with bicycles is that they’ve all the time been too sophisticated:
Fortuitously, issues are a lot easier now:
It simply retains getting higher and higher:
And with synthetic intelligence it should solely get higher nonetheless.
Look, I understand it’s futile to rail in opposition to AI. It’s the following part in our technological evolution, and it’s inevitable. Even I exploit it to generate photographs reminiscent of this one:
Although in fact it by no means works. On this case, I informed it to make me a picture of “The Time-Touring T-Shirt-Carrying Retro-Fred From The Planet Tridork Using His Aero Bike Of Doom,” and it wasn’t even shut.
This, in fact, is the Time-Touring T-Shirt-Carrying Retro-Fred From The Planet Tridork:
Although he’ll additionally reply to “Bret.”
However simply because AI will finally determine tips on how to generate correct photographs and can in all probability be scripting this weblog in a matter of months, that doesn’t imply I would like it on my bikes, or that I would like a wise handlebar:
Do you assume it is available in quill?
I’m going to guess it doesn’t.
Both method, you in all probability didn’t ask for “the world’s first totally linked sensible handlebar.” For that matter you didn’t even ask for 31.8. However guess what? You’re getting it anyway, and it’s referred to as…FLITEDECK!?!
I’m sorry, WHAT?
If you happen to’re sufficiently old to recollect 9 pace (sounds loopy, however somebody born when Shimano launched 9-speed Dura-Ace is now nearly 30 years outdated), you understand that Flight Deck was Shimano’s built-in cycle pc:
[That appears to be a 10-speed version, but whatever.]
You managed it through just a little nubbin on the lever hood, which allowed you to toggle by thrilling options reminiscent of “CLK” (that’s techn-jargon for “clock”), and naturally Campagnolo answered with its personal model, the “Ergo Mind,” which, uh, in all probability additionally had a clock:
In fact, in these darkish days of male chauvinism, whereas we might have had computer systems, there was no place for information on our precise handlebars, as that house was reserved for photographs of scantily-clad girls:
However these days are over…or possibly they’re not:
Possibly that is solely the start:
I assume it’s protected to imagine FLITEDECK could have a “Digital Pin-Up” characteristic.
Now they will get stop and desist letters from Shimano and Cinelli.
